


Forever

by TheGreatPekPek



Category: Sam Club Forever
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Alternate Universe - Gang World, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternate Universe - Hackers, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Assassin Kristy, Assassin Lilly, Assassins & Hitmen, Big Chicken Brain Blake, Blood, Blood and Gore, Blood and Injury, Blood and Violence, Car Accidents, Car Chases, Epic, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Gang Leader Elijah, Gang Leader Noah, Gang Violence, Gangs, Gun Violence, Guns, Hacker Jack, Hacker Lacey, Hitman Kristy, Hitman Lilly, Hospitals, Injury, Interrogation, Knives, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Police, Second In Command Noah, Spies & Secret Agents, Spy Sam, Strategist Blake, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Torture, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:54:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29277288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGreatPekPek/pseuds/TheGreatPekPek
Summary: Sam and Lacey are thrown into a life of crime where they are taken under the wing of the SCF boss, Elijah. In order to escape their old life and to survive their new one, they earn their place in the group among the leaders they've grown close to. The SCF became their home. The SCF became their life given to them from the hands of the people they now considered family.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the first ever Sam Club Forever fanfiction!!! It's gonna be pretty average ngl.

The wind blows noisily, the fog-covered city spread over the horizon, tall buildings adorning the black sky. Lilly had her arm hanging out the open window, playfully swinging a knife between her fingers, her gaze focused on her phone. They’re speeding down the highway, just under the speed limit because that’s still important to Lacey’s moral code for reasons unbeknownst to anyone. Repeatedly swiping her thumb up and down the screen, she takes a long time rereading the mission briefing several times over, having nothing else to do as she waits to arrive at the hall. 

She heaves a heavy sigh as she eventually turns her phone off and tucks it into her pocket. She’s bored, even more so at the thought of what’s waiting for them at the location they’re headed. Another boring fancy gala full of boring fancy rich people that have nothing good to offer. But it’s a price she has to pay, this party being the only place they’ll be able to get close to the target. Though, it still doesn’t make her hate these gatherings any less, all the fake smiles and awkward handshakes. 

She will never understand the meaning of gathering rich and powerful people in one room only so they can all pretend they like each other's company and drink to their heart’s content away from cameras and prying eyes. Everyone knows they can do so just as easily at home but everyone chooses to go to these insignificant things. Why? Lilly supposes it’s just so they can all brag to the rest of the world about their fancy suits and expensive cars. To see who has the most expensive watch or tie, the cleaner look, the neater three pieces. 

She rolls up the window and once again conceals the knife in her semi-formal clothing, undetectable to the untrained eye, but easily accessible for efficient use. “How long ‘till we’re there?” She asks, gaining the attention of their designated driver for this hit. “Around fifteen minutes,” Lacey replies, not removing her eyes from the road. She hears an affirmative hum from her right and takes a moment to remember Kristy’s existence. She’s always been quiet but sometimes it feels like she literally disappears into thin air, even though she’s sitting right there. No matter how long she’s known her, Lilly doesn’t think she could ever get used to that.

But right now, she just wants to get this over with so they can all head back and hopefully get a more exciting mission. But according to Sam, the less near-death experiences, the better the job. Boring people like him don’t know how to live a life. He says he’s more concerned about living life. As in not dying. Where’s the thrill in that. Besides, what could possibly be so enticing about this mission? John Wilson. They’ve met before. They put him in charge of resources and he decided to go behind their backs and steal from them, Trying to make a name for himself as an arms dealer in the underworld with their supplies. 

There was a time when they attempted to end his antics once and for all. It took an entire two weeks to track him down, but in the end it was a false lead and he managed to slip away in the end. Lilly distinctly remembers how hard a few of them took the failure, but that’s what they get for leaving this job to the rookies. Lacey and Jack, being the saints that they are, managed to track him down in less than 24 hours. John, being the fool he is, thought he could get away with our arms and also thought this party would be a great cover for selling his stolen goods. It was also not appreciated that he was selling their arms to the Taur of all people. He betrayed them, so he was going to die. Simple as that.

She sighed and closed her eyes as she let her head fall back against the leather seats. It’s an easy hit, if a bit tedious. Despite being boring, the mission is still very important to the overall survival of the SCF and needs to be completed flawlessly. Being used to all the ‘get in, kill everyone, get out’ jobs recently, it feels a bit strange to do the ‘elaborate plan’ jobs again. Then again, with her abilities, it should still be a simple feat. 

With nothing else on her mind, she decided to read the mission briefing once again, only to be halted when she noticed Lacey speeding up and beginning to drive in irregular patterns. “Looks like it’s gonna be a long night tonight, girls.” Lacey commented, earning a nod from Kristy who had already loaded a gun. A short glance at the rear-view mirror revealed three unmarked black cars trailing subtly behind them. Lilly slowly slid out a handgun from the overhead compartment of the car. A bit exasperated, she flicked off the safety and once again rolled down her window.

“Long night indeed,”

\---

John would not escape again. This time, they were prepared for him. They’d seen him enter into the building, even hidden amongst the crowd as he was. 

The other man was ignorant of his presence. The one he came to meet had been long dead before he got there, his body in several pieces all around the city and his head arriving at the Taur’s doorstep tomorrow. The organization the man worked for would most likely overlook the death of someone so insignificant. They would not, however, take kindly to the gesture. 

Sam knows Elijah is gonna start a gang war soon if he keeps insisting on ‘having fun’ whilst they work. If he does, everyone will watch him die saying “I told you so.” and no one would even feel bad. But Sam, he was confident in himself, it was his job after all, and one that he was quite adept at. His team were the ones who ensured that the SCF would prove their superiority over and over again. It was his job to be the first on the field for recon and to ensure that the mission went as smoothly as possible from his position as an inside man.

Being the talented actor that he was, infiltration and adaptability came naturally to him like second nature. And he knew how to use his skills when necessary. Like now. He’s been working as a waiter in this place for the past two months under the identity of Charles Sawyer (He can thank Lacey for getting him the credentials). Long enough for him to be trusted at an occasion this important. He’s been there for what he assumes to be around five hours. He hadn’t lost sight of the target once, serving drinks to the guests around him, getting as close as possible to him while keeping a safe distance away.

Sam heads back into the main area once Lacey gives him a short “We’ll be there in fifteen,” through his earpiece. It’s pretty much the OK sign that his main part in the mission is practically complete. Now he just has to sit back and make sure the rest of the night goes smoothly and without hindrance. The most important detail is that John remains unaware of their presence in case they may be recognized. Sam has not met him face to face before this mission so he’s fine, but when Lilly shows up, she will definitely need to stay hidden since he knows her face.

“Team B is being pursued, but from the looks of it, it shouldn't delay them.” Jack’s voice rang out through the earpiece. “Got it.” Sam said as he headed back to the kitchen. On his way there, he spared a short glance at one of the security cameras, knowing that Jack had hacked them and was watching from the base. 

Soon, enough he found himself automatically repeating the same steps he had been following all night. As a waiter, he brought a tray of drinks around and refilled the tray in the kitchen when he was out. He was able to keep John in his sights the entire night whilst managing to stay out of the line of sight of his company. Even at a public event such as this, he’s still paranoid enough to bring four bodyguards.

He continued his routine for a while, weaving through the crowds and occasionally making small talk with some of the guests, until he heard Jack’s voice in his ear once again. “Team B on sight.” And with that, his part of the job was done. Time to scram.

\---

Once they had dispatched their pursuers, they arrived at the hall within a few minutes. After parking the van in the underground parking lot, Lacey ushered the two assassins out of the car. They checked their gear before going in but abruptly stopped when they heard the sound of the elevator coming down. Following protocol, they took cover between the cars and out of sight of any security cameras, until the elevator came to a stop on the basement level.

They put their weapons away when they saw Sam step out of the elevator. He acknowledged the two that had come out of hiding with nothing but a glance, casually making his way to the car with Lacey. It was basic knowledge for them not to make any contact or imply that they’re connected in any way in case of hidden microphones or cameras. Lilly and Kristy took Sam’s spot in the elevator and pushed the button to take them to the top floor. When the elevator pinged to signal their floor they prepared themselves to start the next stage. 

The moment the elevator doors slid apart, Lilly rushed to find a hiding place out of sight of the target. But since John wasn’t familiar with Kristy’s face, she took a casual pace and seamlessly blended into the crowd. She first registered her partner’s position before she assessed all possible entrances and exits. She checked the time, 10:13 PM.They’re early. A few more minutes on standby.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Lilly checked her time as well. Crouched low behind the stone sculpture of a long-forgotten icon, she watched him from her hiding place a few minutes longer. Just watching. Observing. From the four armed guards surrounding him, to the increasingly nervous look on his face, seemingly realising the reason behind the absence of his counterpart. As much as she would have liked to make him suffer anxiously for a little while longer, it was time. The clock struck 10:15 and she saw Kristy start to make her way to the target. “10:15. Lacey, kill the lights.” she said seconds before the room was enveloped in darkness.

Amongst the confusion, the assassins made their move. Lilly quickly snapped the wrist of the first bodyguard to draw his gun. Lost in shock, his finger made harsh contact with the trigger as the gun flew out of his hand to slide across to the other side of the marble floor. The bullet had unsurprisingly lodged itself into the ceiling, small pieces of debris fluttering down from the force of the impact. Time seemed to stop for a moment. Three seconds of silence ensued once the unfamiliar sound of a gunshot reverberated through the room, leaving time for everyone to process the sudden disturbance. 

Once it had fully registered, the panic that followed was truly a sight to behold. People began hastily searching for an exit, pushing past others doing the same. The crowd moved as one mass towards the doors they had all entered. Within seconds the guest grew more frantic, discovering elevators and stairs to be blocked by many others trying to escape. People were running and screaming. Screaming at others to get out of their way, and screaming from the pain of being trampled and crushed against the walls. The chaotic scene of people stumbling around in the dark combined with the security and other services desperately trying and failing to calm the masses was quite an entertaining sight to the perpetrators.

Hence why Lilly was feeling far too amused of the situation as she incapacitated the first guard with no difficulty whatsoever. The second one was a bit slower, leaving him no time to draw his gun before he was roughly pulled back by his collar. His head made harsh contact with the ground before being struck with the heel of Lilly’s boot. The third guard was quicker than the first two, dodging the first blow aimed for his head and narrowly avoiding the second. The fourth guard had tried to make a run for it during their altercation, but that just earned him a bullet in the back of his skull, courtesy of Kristy. Lilly was eventually able to land a hit to his abdominals, knocking the air out of his lungs. The assassin quickly ended it with a clean bullet to the head.

By the time she turned to John, he was fighting against the hold of his other assailant, the lower half of his face covered by a chloroform cloth. It didn’t take long for his thrashing to die down to weak and loose movements. And with one final pathetic swing of his arm, he succumbed to the fumes and fell limp in Kristy’s arms. She dragged his body up and heaved him over her shoulders. With a tilt of her head the two began their descent down the now cleared out stairs, the elevators being almost certainly out of order. They made their way through several deserted hallways and even more flights of stairs until they reached the basement.

The moment they set foot on the bottom floor, Lacey and Sam were already waiting for them inside the car. They quickly gagged and restrained John before unceremoniously tossing him in the trunk to be dealt with later. With a click of the handle, they opened the car doors before proceeding inside. Once they had reoccupied their previous seating, they closed the doors and Lilly let out a sigh of relief. “Welp, glad that’s done.” she said as she stretched her arms above her head.

The car pulled out of the parking lot and made its way out of the underground area. The outside was a much less frantic scene than before. Some were still trying to distance themselves from the building, others calling rides that weren’t scheduled to arrive for another few hours, some trying to find others that they had lost in the chaos, and many most definitely calling 911. Sam frowned in distaste at the last. “Let’s get out of here quick. I’m really not keen on the idea of having to deal with cops today, and I’m sure you aren't either.” Lacey shrugged and weaved their vehicle through the crowded traffic.

“I don’t think we have to worry about them any time soon, Sam. They may be a bit delayed.” Lacey said with a small smile. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Sam asked, noticing they were taking a different road. Lilly shot Lacey a knowing glance, earning a nod as permission to continue. “Let’s just say they’re dealing with a road block involving three black cars containing unidentifiable bodies.” Lilly hinted. It was then Sam understood the fate of their pursuers from earlier that night. And what a cruel one it was, judging by the expression on Lilly’s face. He was sure investigators would be finding more and more bullets throughout the entire week. One of many reasons he’s glad that he’s a friend and not a foe. It would take a lifetime to attend the funerals of those who crossed their paths who were the latter.

“Well, I don’t think I want to know any more details about this topic.” Sam says whilst trying to erase the gruesome scenes his imagination has conjured. “What? Can’t stomach the thought of bullet-filled bodies rotting under the sun?” Lilly teases. Sam shivers as the horrendous thoughts run rampant in his mind once again despite his best efforts. Sam glared at Lilly before scowling “On the off chance that I throw up due to your antics, I will personally ensure every last drop ends up on you.” Once the words left his mouth he earned a glare of his own, courtesy of Lacey, that basically said ‘Throw up in my new car, and I’ll end you.’ and knowing her, she would. 

“Is anyone actually in right now? Or is the place gonna be empty when we get there?” Lacey asked. “Jack, Blake and Noah are there, but Elijah went out earlier.” answered Lilly. The car ride continued, the atmosphere filled with lighthearted conversation. “Hey guys,” Lacey spoke after a while, gaining the attention of her passengers. “I think he woke up.” she said while pointing to the back, where loud repeated thumps could be heard coming from the trunk. “Oh yeah, I forgot about him.” Lilly said. “Could one of you please knock him out again before he breaks my trunk?” Lacey requested as she pulled over to the side of the mostly unoccupied road. Kristy silently stepped out of the car, the chloroform cloth from earlier in hand. The sound of the trunk opening and closing was all that was heard before she returned less than a minute later. Accepting the silence of the back of the car as a sign she completed her task, Lacey pulled away from the curb as the chatter resumed inside the car.

The conversation glided over several topics from Sam’s experience as a waiter to what they’re having for dinner later. The discussion dies down when the car slows to a stop. Lilly gets out and opens the trunk. John is still unconscious when his body is dragged out of the trunk and thrown onto the ground. Following the others, Lilly drags the limp torso up the stairs but stops to hurl the still unconscious man into a side room and locks the door. She rejoins the others and enters the familiar threshold.

“We’re back!”


	2. It's Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just the Sam Club being chaotic... That's it.

“We’re back!” 

Blake’s head shot up from it’s position against the backrest of the couch at the sound of Lilly’s voice. Her head poked around the corner and she waved a quick hello before stepping to the other side of the room and plopping down on the sofa. The rest of the group was quick to follow, Lacey joining Lilly on the sofa while the other two went to their respective rooms after their small greeting.

Their home is not what people typically imagine when they think of a gang. They aren’t living in a penthouse on top of some fancy building, and they aren’t living in some crummy back alley or a club either. In fact, they have a pretty modern and comfortable apartment with nothing out of the ordinary. The apartment was welcoming from the common metal door (that may or may not have been bulletproof) to the (questionable) Shrek doormat at the entrance of the wide tidy hallway. Tastefully placed rugs decorated the beautiful chocolate colored hardwood floor. The walls a fresh summer mint meeting a harmonizing white baseboard. 

Normally this would be appealing. The sole reason it pained them to look at the walls was simply because almost everything else was green as well. Elijah had succeeded in making most of the furniture some shade of green, and the only reason they didn’t have a Shrek shrine in the living room was because Lacey had threatened to sell his handmade Shrek plushie on the black market to ensure he would never see it again. Elijah had conceded, opting instead to secretly put the shrine in a hidden part of his own personal room which to this day had still not been discovered. But he still somehow managed to have sixty percent of their belongings dressed in some form of green.

And thus, there they sat, on their Kermit colored couch, the atmosphere awkward as no one said a word. “So, how did it go?” Blake finally broke the silence. Lilly glanced towards Lacey a bit worriedly. They had no idea how to tell Blake that they didn’t really follow his plan. She settled for telling him “It was fine.” and Blake gave her that BS look. Her worst fears have been realized. He already knew. There’s no fooling the chicken. “Riiight. If I remember correctly killing a bunch of rich people, causing a traffic jam on a major highway and destroying a building on what should have been a ‘lowkey’ event weren’t a part of my plan last time I checked.” he said as he looked up from Jack’s laptop to meet their eyes, brows furrowed. “Jesus, you guys leave a path of destruction wherever you go, don’t you?” Noah sighed as he appeared from his room. “But- We didn’t destroy any buildings!” Lacey exclaimed. “Yes, no destroying of buildings was done!” Lilly chimed in. “Why are you repeating what I say in a weird way!?” “I don’t know!” “Okay then!” 

Blake just watched their interaction, unimpressed. Establishing the fact that he would never be able to understand the female half of the human race, he turned the laptop screen toward them and a video from the perspective of a security camera began to play. From the angle they could see Lilly break the wrist of the first man who dared to shoot in the dark. From there, a previously unnoticed chain of events began to unfold behind the scenes. The bullet they’d thought had only damaged the ceiling had actually grazed a lightbulb on the way up. The light began to spark as the crowd began panicking. One of those sparks had landed on the table cloth of the refreshments table, which slowly but surely began to catch fire. It took quite a while for it to spread but the draft coming from the doorways aided to further ignite the flames, and with no barrier to stop them, the flames began to spread throughout the building. Blake paused the video and pulled up an article that revealed that the fire had grown to a massive size and they weren’t able to put it out until after the building had already caved in on itself.   
  
Lilly and Lacey merely gawked at the screen, awestruck. “Wow. I didn’t notice the burning table cloth at all.” Lilly spoke after a time. “Well, you caused a lot of trouble but it’s not our problem anymore. But just maybe stick to the plan next time?” They just nodded. “Can I have my laptop back now that you’ve thoroughly chastised them?” Jack asked from his desk, tapping his foot impatiently. Blake just tossed it to him, possibly intending to break it, but Jack caught it easily and turned back around to continue his activities from before Blake decided to yeet his laptop. 

  
“Where’s Eli anyways? He’ll probably want to hear about this.” Blake directed his question towards Noah. “He went out.” came the simple response. “Where?” Blake asked again. “It’s Elijah. I don’t know where he goes when he ‘goes out’,” Noah pauses, thinking. His face falls after a moment. “You know what? I don’t think I want to know…” Noah cringed as Blake nodded his head in agreeance. Gangnam Style (Noah’s ringtone) echoed throughout the room. “Speak of the devil,” he said before excusing himself to answer. “Oh. And stay away from my avocados!” Noah instructed as he left.

“Avocados?” Lilly asked, looking to Lacey for approval. “Avocados.” The two scampered off to the kitchen and Blake did not have the energy to follow. He scanned the room looking for something to do. That is, until a great idea popped into his mind when his eyes landed on a pack of glowsticks in the corner of the room near Jack’s laptop that was currently unattended. Oh yes.  
  
\---   
  
The bitter night breeze sent chills down his spine. Small chatter, footsteps and the occasional announcement of the speaker system were the only sounds to be heard. Elijah stood on the platform amongst the crowd of impatient people as they awaited the arrival of their nightly transport. He pulled his phone from his pocket and scrolled his contacts until he came upon the familiar purple icon. The call rang for a few seconds before it was picked up.   
  
“Why aren't you back yet? I can’t handle babysitting these barbarians on my own.” came Noah’s voice from the other end of the line. “What can I say? Don’t you love living in one of the most inefficient traffic systems in the world?” Elijah says wistfully. “Traffic? Really?” he questioned. “Hey I can’t predict these things. There were some pretty suspicious looking cars on the highway that got in some kind of accident. You should’ve seen it. There were _a lot_ of bullets.” he recalled. “Wait, did they happen to be three unmarked black cars?” asked Noah. “Yeah! How’d you know? Is it on the news already?” Elijah asked. All he obtained as a response was a prolonged sigh and a huff of something that sounded a lot like ‘You can’t be serious’.   
  
“What is it?” “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. Judging from all that background noise, I assume you’re taking the subway?” Noah inquired, referencing the small cheers of joy surrounding him as the train appeared and came to a stop in front of them. “Yep. I left the car at the lot. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon to tame the chaos.” Elijah said, chuckling at the sound of something breaking in the distance as he filed onto the train, Shrek plushie in hand. “Please. I don’t know how much longer I can keep them from trying to blow up an avocado in the microwave.” Noah pleaded. Elijah just grinned at his friend’s pain and ended the call with a “If a single one of my Shrek figurines are damaged, you shall pay the price.” and smiled to himself as the subway began to move.   
  
\---   
  
“ _Please_ don’t blow up the microwave.” Noah begged as Lacey and Lilly were in the process of shoving what looked like a foil-wrapped avocado into their horribly abused microwave. Besides smelling putrid smells he’s never smelled before, what worried Noah was the open box of gunpowder next to Lacey’s leg with a knife resting on top of it. Noah, putting two and two together, realized they were actually putting a gunpowder-filled avocado wrapped in foil into their microwave. Lacey slowly put the avocado bomb on the table with a semi guilty look on her face while Lilly just snickered. Noah warily made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room, fully aware that they were eyeing the metal fork which rested on the table and the socket on the other side of the room. He could only hope they would survive the night.   
  
When he arrived at the living room, he didn’t know what to make of it. The conditions of the couch cushions and the curtains were those of which an owner comes back to after leaving their dog at home alone for a whole day. The window was open, Jack was nowhere to be seen and many things were in places that they shouldn’t be. Blake was lying facedown on the floor surrounded by… a glowing blue liquid? Noah didn’t question it and kneeled down to check his pulse. Once he confirmed Blake was still alive he got up to close the window. The once beautiful garden below was now a tangle of crushed vines and flowers. Knowing his team, it was very likely that something and/or someone had been thrown out of the window. Once again, Noah concluded that it was best not to ask about the events that transpired in the few minutes he had been on the phone.   
  
No, he wouldn’t ask what happened. He wouldn’t ask where the missing people were. He wouldn’t ask what the unexplained items were or where they were from. No, he wouldn’t ask, because this was the SCF and this was normal. You don’t ask questions here because you don’t want to know the answers to those questions. So when Blake regained consciousness and stared blearily at Noah, he asked no questions, simply watched as Blake got up and shuffled into his room. 

When Noah returned to the kitchen to find that the microwave had indeed blown up, there were signs of an implosion where an electric socket used to be, and the two culprits were nowhere to be found, he didn’t ask any questions. He just sat at the table and rested his head on the cold surface. He may or may not have thought about the possibility of sneaking sleeping pills into tomorrow's dinner to have just one peaceful night. Noah raised his head and dropped it on the table several times, attempting to regain his sanity. If he spent one more minute ignoring the world, maybe then he’d feel better. One more hour. One more day.   
  
“Dude, you look even worse than this place.” Noah raised his head from the table to meet Elijah’s eyes. “You’re finally back,” Noah rejoiced “They’re your problem now.” he grumbled. “That’s fair.” Elijah chuckled, seemingly far too amused for the situation. “But dude, you look like literal death. Have you been getting enough sleep lately?” Elijah asked taking the seat besides Noah. “I don’t consider anything less than 22 hours of sleep enough. But I’ll manage.” he joked, receiving a laugh from Elijah. “If you’re sure,” Elijah finished with a smile.   
  
Suddenly, two glasses of water were placed in front of them startling them both. “Jesus Kristy make some noise when you walk,” to which she only nodded and disappeared behind a corner to who knows where. “I’m bored,” Blake announced, dragging himself out of his room dressed in his chicken onesie. “Use your big chicken brain to come up with something to do then.” Noah teased and sipped his water. Blake just sighed “Big chicken brain is not operational at this time of night.” he mumbled sadly. “Clearly, seeing as you passed out after trying to eat glow sticks earlier. That’s like, Elijah level of stupidity” Sam commented from the hallway. Elijah pretended to feel physical pain from the comment as he clutched his chest. Noah knew once again decided not to question it, finally discovering the contents of the glowing blue liquid. One question answered, many more gained.

Just then, Jack burst through the door panting. “Jesus, dude. You look like you just had a life or death battle with the forces of nature.” Blake commented when his eyes came upon Jack’s disheveled appearance. “Says the guy who threw me out the window,” Jack accused and Blake just blinked at him in confusion. “No, I threw your _pc_ out the window. _You_ just decided to jump out after it.” he corrected. “That thing is a part of my soul. You basically threw me out the window!” Jack countered as Blake rolled his eyes. Elijah brought his hands together, gaining the attention of everyone in the room. “All right is everyone here?” he asked as they began to do a headcount, the previous conflict seemingly forgotten.   
  
That’s how it was. When the leader spoke, he demanded absolute attention. Any previous conversations no longer mattered. It was time to listen. “We’re here!” Lilly yelled as she tumbled out of the fridge, and Lacey from the cupboard. Completely normal. Don’t ask. “five, six, including myself is seven…who…?” Everyone looked around for the missing person. Elijah was very confused until he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder from behind him. Losing any minor resemblance of dignity he might have had left at that point, Elijah let out a screech rivaling a pterodactyl, as he flailed forward which sent him sprawling on the floor in front of his entire team. He squeezed his Shrek plushie for dear life, breath stuck in his throat as he stared up at Kristy. He may have overreacted. Just a tiny bit. He brought himself back up to his feet hoping to regain any pride he once had. Everyone's eyes were trained on him, some blinking owlishly and others trying and failing to withhold their laughter.   
  
“You all will now forget the events that have transpired within the last few seconds.” Elijah instructed whilst waving his hands around before snapping as if attempting to hypnotize them. Sam made a mental note to ensure ‘Banshee descendant’ appeared on at least some part of Elijah’s gravestone before he continued. “And You!” he said pointing at Kristy. “You have _got_ to stop doing that!” he said clutching his chest in an attempt to slow his racing heart.   
  
He turned back to address the rest of them. “Anyways, have you guys eaten yet?” a chorus of ‘no’s erupted from the room. “The ones that were supposed to make dinner seemed to be a bit preoccupied with… other things.” Noah grumbled the last part, pointedly eying the microwave and black section of the wall that definitely wasn’t overlooked by Elijah when he first entered. “Great! Let’s go out then!” He said cheerfully. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but it’s half past midnight. There is no way you’re making me go anywhere but my bed at this time.” Blake said, causing Elijah to slump his shoulders. “Fine, but tomorrow we’re all going out for a big breakfast!” he announced. “Make that lunch cause I plan on sleeping in till noon.” Blake yawned and began the journey back to his room. “Fine by me,” the others followed to their respective rooms, leaving Elijah standing in the kitchen by himself.   
  
“...” Elijah stood there for approximately 3 minutes just staring in the direction the others had left to. “The nerve of those brats…” he said as he shook his head in disapproval. But they were his brats, and he could never stay mad at them no matter how hard he tried. So yes, he wouldn’t stay mad, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t angry right now. He cursed Blake for ruining his dinner plans… early breakfast plans? And he cursed the others for going along with him. He briefly considered shanking Blake in his sleep, but quickly decided against it. He instead chose that Blake would wake up with the voodoo doll he borrowed from Kristy in front of his door. Sam too, for calling him stupid. He’s stupid. Yeah.   
  
With a new goal and a thirst for revenge, Elijah trudged down the hallway to his room. Angling the door knob until that familiar click, he pushed open the door to his Shrek haven. His eyes immediately traveled to the floor, where a limited edition mini Shrek figurine laid, face down on the floor. What really irked Elijah was the fact that the head was far from where it should be. About 3 inches from the body, the head sat peacefully, glass eyes staring up at him almost tauntingly. One of his Shrek figurines was broken. Noah gets a voodoo doll too.   
  
He picked up his newly disfigured treasure from the rug and set it on his desk before vowing to fix it later. He spent a few minutes collecting the various items that had fallen around the room due to the human earthquakes until the most dreadful buzzing sound made itself known throughout the entire floor. The thing was, Elijah would’ve ignored it if the ear piercing ring hadn’t been blaring loudly for a full minute now. But Elijah would not give in, and whatever or whoever was making that noise could go and tire themselves out. But after a few minutes it was clear that others didn’t have the same resilience that he held.   
  
The first sign of a reaction came from down the hall when a door slammed open. “Who the hell is making that insufferable noise at this time of night!?” Noah’s irritated shout boomed through their apartment. “Oh for the love of-!” The next out of their room was Blake, who sluggishly made his way out dragging his feet with drowsy eyes. “Shut up! You’re even louder than the ringing!” “Both of you be quiet! What’s even making that noise?” Lilly asked, clearly irritated. They traced the sound to the front door and were relieved when they found the source. “Damn, I forgot we had a doorbell.” she said as she opened the door to find a package with no sender on the other side. Someone had purposefully put tape on the doorbell to ensure it never ended until someone got up to remove it. Lilly scowled, removing the tape before gripping the package to bring it inside.   
  
At this point others had gone to bed and Elijah had exited his room. “Whatever’s in there, is it gonna blow up?'' he asked ‘lilly. “I don’t know. Probably.” Lilly brought the box up to her ear and listened for any indication of the contents inside. A consistent ticking could be heard from somewhere along the upper left of the box. “Yep, it’s a bomb.” Lilly stated as she gently set it on the table. “Hey, someone come get rid of it!” she called into the empty foyer. Before she knew it, the box had disappeared from the table and was most likely being taken to be disposed of. “Wow, that was quick.” she yawned and stretched her arms above her head. “I wonder who it was from this time.” Elijah asked himself. “It was obviously Taur. You sent them a head in a box and they sent you a bomb in a box in exchange. It’s pretty obvious.” she explained whilst returning to her room. “Welp, that makes sense.” he accepted before retiring to his room as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued

**Author's Note:**

> There you go. I hope you are underwhelmed.
> 
> Next chapter where we'll introduce the other members is coming soon!


End file.
